''The wound is the place where the Light enters you.'' Rumi .. And there comes the time where one is being called to be completely honest and transparent towards themselves first and, secondly, to others. We can not keep indefinitely turning our eyes away and keep lying to ourselves.. This post was inspired by the beautiful and inspiring documentary 'Crazywise' which Phil Borges and Kevin Tomlison have sensitively and with brutal honesty created. I strongly recommended to watch it, if you find it somewhere around the world: https://crazywisefilm.com/. It factually links mental health diagnosis, crisis and symptoms to its true origin..spirituality! and how different cultures choose to respond to it. I feel that movies like this one should be shown to every human being in this world, especially to the westerners. The movie included for me all (or most of them, anyway) the narratives, experiences, facts, processes, perceptions, intuition and feelings from all the years that I have been working in mental health and as a therapist. It really moved me and brought tears to my eyes again (this time via the screen) of how, mainly the western culture, has projected all its 'weaknesses', all it 'dislikes', all its 'fears' and 'ugliness' onto 'mentally ill' people. 'They are the ones who are sick, not us', 'Schizophrenic people are dangerous', 'He is crazy, stay away', 'Dont listen to her, she is a manipulative, she has biopolar' and uncountable other opinions go around for 'mentally ill' people'. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) for Mental Disorders written by the American Psychiatric Association and followed by almost all the western countries, has been continually questioned by scientists who actually dare to be honest to their own selves and ask the question: 'Where is the evidence for all this?'. None or very little is the answer. Let me put that straight, every day hundreds of people are being diagnosed and possibly hospitalised (some of them without their consent) and heavily dedicated on the basis that there is some chemical imbalance in their brain with no evidence that this is the case as there is no test done to this person to measure the assumed imbalance!! You are probably not very surprised as you hear everyday about 'crimes' against living organisms, so we kind of become numb and inactive. Try to think though for a moment of someone you know, family, relative, friend, acquaintance who you know they experience or had periods of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, some sort of paranoia, the all very famous voices; what are your thoughts and feelings about that person: 'oh, poor him, he is ill', 'how sad, she didnt finish her degree', 'I always knew there was something 'wrong' with her' you might think. And this is the point where you are deeply involved psychically.. There are situations and fats in life that can be traumatic or extremely painful that can actually shatter ones' own perception of themselves and the world, sense of safety and security, worthiness of love and belonging, everything that makes us 'functional' beings to live 'normal' lives (while I am writing that these terms are already outdated). The moment one uses the terms 'functional' and 'normal', then the spectrum of people's experiences becomes limited, with boundaries. Then, you have the 'functional' and the 'non functional' people, the 'normal' and the 'abnormal', the 'healthy' and the 'sick ' ones, the 'need-to-be helped' and the 'helpers'. What about all these people who maintain a 'normal' job and drawn their sorrows or take drugs every other day (or even every day)? Oh yes, they are having fun.. What about those who have got a 'normal' family and they do not show any affection to their partner and children? that's true, they have a career and provide for the family.. What about those how have 'normal' lives and they abuse (verbally, physically, emotionally, through neglect etc) others. that's right, that was not actually abuse.. Hurtful and traumatic experiences are not objective experiences.. The whole life experience indeed is not an objective experience; it is a subjective one.. People might be hurt and traumatised, especially in younger, more forming ages, by things that would not touch you, but they did touch them because that is what makes Them. They are unique and special because they like different things, feel and think different things, love different things, have a different body, chemistry and soul. Regardless how different we all are, we do have the same basic needs: we all want to be respected, loved, valued, appreciated, believed, understood, explored, cared for for who we are (which is constantly changing anyway) and not for what others think we are. Life and definitely healing happen in relationship, nothing exists in isolation. I was inspired (or even guided) to write this post because I watched the movie. The directors of the movie were inspired by the stories of the people they heard and created the movie and so on.. We all touch one another all the time in so many ways that we can not even fully imagine (yet)! Who we think and feel we are ourselves has a continuous and direct impact on how we view the world, how we operate in it, how do we feel about others, who do we choose to relate to (consciously or unconsciously) and how. Thus, until take the brave step to really see ourselves for who we truly are, to acknowledge, curiously listen to, respect, love and share our deepest fears, pains, anxieties, difficult feelings (including, shame and guilt); until we are ready to let go of stories, scripts, scientific illusions and behavioural patterns and roles; until we allow ourselves to experience, understand, accept and worship that light does not exist without dark; until then, we will be the 'normal' ones and someone else will be the 'ill' one and the one who suffers and has got problems. until then, we will continue to ignore that being 'broken', hurt, wounded, traumatised admittedly is another face of life that does happen and can lead to a deeper knowledge of what it means to be human, spiritual, alive. until then, we will live our 'functional' lives within our predefined Spectrum of Being, losing out on the curses and gifts that lie on the other side of the fence.. ..The choice is yours! With love, Panos
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Panos GoumalatsosCounsellor/Psychotherapist, Archives
March 2023
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