This post is probably a continuation of the previous one and, interestingly, I was urged to write it just before the end of the month and the powerful full moon in Libra on the 31st of March.
There are seem to be lots of sweeping changes in people's lives, feelings, attitudes, perceptions and ideas. People leaving their jobs and relationships, thinking of changing careers, changing many habits and feeling unsettled and unhappy. Feelings of extreme tiredness, depression and anxiety are also being amplified during this period.
With new energies (basically more light) coming into the planet and in all of all us, we have been challenged to shake off everything that is stuck, that does not serve us anymore, that does not match our new vibration. Why you would still use and store a 2 kilo weight now that you can lift a 5 kilo one?
You might been having some intense dreams lately. These are drawing our attention to the things that need to be looked at, possibly sitting in out shadow and want to become known and possibly released. Relationship patterns, resentments from past relationships, unfinished business, unprocessed emotions, karmic patterns and lifetime lessons are all surfacing now and can feel quite forceful too. Just to be added to the mix that Mercury is retrogate until the 15th of April which is causing further delays and calls us for a three week review of our current situation.
Of course, what I am sharing here might not apply to everyone so stay truthful to what is happening for you and what are you experiencing. We are all unique and going through our unique life journeys, lessons and purpose.
Making changes or called to make changes (something from within you) is not an easy thing as I have discussed extensively in a previous post. It can feel unsettling, scary, unknown, painful, disorientating etc but it is all part of the process, so breathe. Similar to crabs outgrowing their shells we need some sort of safety to understand, make or follow a change. We need the virtual home of acceptance and no judgement that this is happening and it is not neither good or bad.
Most of the times it will actually lead to great growth but at this stage one does not know that.
Over the last two years I had consecutive contracts ending in my hands as a manager. I felt I was doing my best and yet it as out of my control who was making those decisions and on what basis. It felt unfair, painful and powerless having to move from one thing to the other, invest really all your energy only to be dismissed by someone who did not have an idea of what was the contract about. I spent days and nights raging and battling with the issue and the change I had to navigate through following each ending. Not to mention here the psychological impact and triggers of insecurity and abandonment in the world. I could have spent a lifetime working for these contracts and 'begging' to be appreciated for what I do without necessarily appreciating myself and listen to his bigger need for fulfilment.
I think I finally got it.. My bigger life plan and lesson, my bigger shell was not to be part of organisations that were managing contracts but to create something of my own. I have learned a lot all these years and accumulating significant experience which is definitely part of who I am today and for this I will always be grateful. But why keep it small? Why continue doing what feels safe, secure and within reach?
There are a few reasons for that but I want to focus on one here and now. That is that no one taught me how to jump into the unknown and take risks. I grew up in a family where both my parents were working for organisations and there was no model of entrepreneurship around. There was no encouragement for innovation, forward thinking, creation of something new; there was repetition of the same old model of being in many ways. There is no a trace of blame there now as I would like to take ownership of what I can do beyond any conditioning.
We are becoming more and more accustomed to our safety of taking calculated risks: we now the time that the next tube, bus, train are going to come, we can calculate the weather and things around us etc. We know many things about the person we are dating before we even met them. We have many friends on social media so that we can never feel alone. We growing live in calculated and controlled environments where there is no much space for flexibility, spontaneity and creativity.
No surprise there as stepping into one's own creativity coming from one's soul calling and passion, means at some level accepting and befriending the unknown; it means facing fears and all the scripts and conditioning that one has lived so far; it almost means an identity crisis where one needs to reinvent oneself at some level and look at oneself from a different angle and prism. Of course that is petrifying and nerve wracking and takes a lot of courage and leap of faith.
But what if I tell you that there is guidance and support from higher realms to help you? what if I tell you that your struggle might help someone else and you can be helped by someone who had had similar experience? what if I tell you that you will be more fulfilled and passionate?
We always have the choice and the responsibility (ability to respond) about what we are doing and when to do it.
Following one's true calling and truth requires a new identity, sense of self, a new life that no one could even show you or prepare you exactly for but this does not mean that you fully alone.
Hello dear reader,
I keep hearing more and more people lately saying ‘I want to cut down or stop eating meat’, I ‘I want to stop partying and start drinking less’, ‘I want to use less animal based products and food’, 'I want to start recycling more' and many similar statements.
There seems to be a gradual, collective shift of (or at least intention to change) food and lifestyle habits. For decades we have been programmed and used to eat certain foods, drink alcohol, have a specific lifestyle, do specific things like partying until late etc. Please don’t misunderstand me, you will never hear me saying that there is anything wrong with all these. We have all walked home barely knowing how, we all have had too much to drink so that we can let go even for a while of our inhibitions and did something ‘silly’; we all have (over) indulged ourselves with pizza, meat feasts, chocolate, cakes and so on.
I believe we are very used to comfort ourselves with food, drinks and whatever makes us feel good. We will go for 'shopping therapy' and buy anything when we feel low, we will drink to the oblivion when we feel sad or something hurts us, we will drink again to celebrate when we are happy, we will drink we are bored or while we are waiting for something to happen in our lives. Similarly, we will watch series when we are bored, we will watch a film when we feel lonely, we will play with our phones in every opportunity we have to fill a moment, we will post our photos and 'moments' so we can get noticed by our 'friends' on social media and we will give them their fair share of attention when there is a pause in our lives. We will even meet our lovers and flirts through the phone. It is all very human..
I cann't help it but to notice how we are used to, almost automatically programmed to 'consume' in order to fill our moments. Time, our moments became this 'empty' space that we need to fill in in a similar way that we fill our shopping basket. If we don't, we are probably considered boring, unmotivated, that something is wrong with us, that we might be depressed and need some sort of help to 'recover' etc.
My intention here is not to be 'negative' or catastrophise for the future of the world. I am sharing observations and thoughts, hopefully not to be 'consumed' but as my part of the dialogue that I am interested as an alive being in having with other people, in my imagination or in real situations.
I am surprised how much our experience is mediated through material things these days. We don't stay much with ourselves, our silences, our feelings, with one another, with the unknown (of ours and others), with the mystery, with the surprise, with the adventure, with the questions. We are moving from one thing to the other constantly, we eat the one thing after the other without necessarily listen to our bodies and then we shape our bodies in the standard format (six packs, broad shoulders, etc) that is going to be liked by others. It almost feels that life comes in shapes and size and each one of us have to choose theirs just like we do when we shop for clothes.
I am even more surprised to see people 'consuming' 'healing', 'relaxation', 'meditation', 'relief' like it is a coffee from their local shop.
For me life has always been a process to be mapped, a path to be created and walked, a series of questions, mysteries, hypothesis, trials and errors, a route to discover and invent myself, others and the world. On top of that, I realised that in the same way all these things, experiences, interactions etc are also discovering me, making me who I am which was different to w ho I was yesterday and more likely different to who I am going to be tomorrow. Pretty scary and probably trans-human stuff..
The way I have experienced healing through therapy, meditation and other methods taught me that healing is a self designed, active process. It requires participation, commitment, ownership, continuous learning and loving of oneself, others and the world. Is not just the nut bar you buy from the corner shop. It is that painful and simultaneously blissful process of getting to know oneself, visit all the rooms and little hidden corners of one's own house; clean them when they get dirty, enjoy them when they feel good, stroke them when they hurt, feel the qualities of its material, the smells, the sensations.
The powerful times we live in call us to look ourselves in the mirror of our bathrooms and in the mirror of other's and the world's and admit what we see, admit honestly who we have been and if that feels real, authentic, true and whole. We have spent so much of our lives trying to please other people, conform in people's and societies expectations, we have said and done things continuously that feel good but actually at some level stop ourselves- for whatever reason- to get to know deeply and show what we want, what our heart is on fire for, what do we find peace with, what we love doing which does not just pay the bills, who we truly are..
I feel that the journey ahead is one that needs to be consciously created out of the depths of our existence which ever way that feels right for each one of us.