Dear reader,
We are in summer period that includes a little rest and respite from the chores of the everyday life. Doing the same myself recently, I realised how necessary it is to distance someone even a little from his daily life. This distance, if it is done consciously, can help one to decompress and reassess some part of her life, its organisation, how happy she feels with the choices she has made, how she experiences it, etc. In these moments we have the opportunity to get rid of the pressure of daily tasks and to pay more attention to how we feel with what is happening in our lives, how we manage things, the results they may have, etc. I assume here that when we are in constant motion in our lives, our attention and all our energy are directed towards fulfilling any obligations whether it is called career building, raising children, caring for a family member or the completion of studies etc. In this continuous pursuit of any goals we have set, surely our intention is to produce and create something for which we will be proud, happy and full, as the energy we have given will have been transformed into something that we consider Important and worthwhile. Consequently, we pour passion, we make small and big sacrifices, we devote ourselves to some degree anticipating the best possible result. It is normal to feel disappointed when what we are waiting for fails or when difficulties arise that require extra attention and energy from our existing low stocks. During the year, all of this energy spending leaves someone weary and exhausted, perhaps to the extent that the appeal and beauty of the original goal are not clearly visible on the horizon anymore. Respectively, I am writing this article instead of doing some other work because I consider it important, perhaps waiting for it to be read and for people to relate to it and some of them may choose to give me feedback. I imagine we have all been in that position where the question arises whether a target we have set is worth all the energy we give to it. It is healthy and important for a person to be able to review his choices given the energy and commitment they require. This is because, regardless of whether someone wants to change them or not, one allows oneself the space of enquiry that may lead to approval but also an admittance that something from the original plan may need to change-towards the same or another direction-. Admittedly, flexibility and the willingness to adapt were the things that enabled and allowed humans to become the 'superior' animal. I have always been interested in people's intentions and surprised to observe the various motives on which they shape, literally building or tearing down their lives. I was saying 'this is life, both creation and destruction'. It was also always reassuring and important to me the self-knowledge, when people themselves were recognising their motives, not as a compulsion but as part of a true and free way of living. Lately, I notice enough (the observation always indicates something about the observer) that while we have created so many potential goals (and means to achieve them) for mankind, it is as if we feel that nothing is enough. Like the desire for creation, pleasure, completion, fulfilment can never be fulfilled with anything. So we 'consume' images and desires, moments and feelings, dreams and nightmares. From a different point of view we create, enjoy and complete something daily towards or close to a goal that we directly or indirectly have set for ourselves. We are present (primarily with our breath) every moment at the occurrence of life that sometimes is a feast and sometimes a funeral. We are present daily in each other's lives carrying- like ants preparing for their survival in winter-, information about life that may be useful to others (a smile, some news, an update, our experience etc.) Growing up I discover, in my turn, that there is no perfect moment, perfect condition, perfect relationship, perfect people, that is not the point, but how sitting on the boat of my 'separated ego', I carry and utilise with respect, awe, love and gratitude in the ocean life that happens by itself some of its meaning and potential. Each one creates for himself his window and its view (and its potentialities) that sees and experiences life from, one time identifying with the window and another with the view. With Love, Panos
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Panos GoumalatsosCounsellor/Psychotherapist, Archives
March 2023
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