The night before I had my motorcycle stolen just right outside my house. In shock I realised the next morning that the lock wad been broken and the bike was missing.
I was feeling a mixture of feelings anger and sadness for the thief having taken something that did not belong to them, anger for myself for not bringing the bike into the front garden and for not buying a second lock, sadness and grief for the loss, helpless that I wouldn't be able to afford to buy another one etc.
To my surprise I also noticed a sense of relief;
I was always afraid of bikes and my worst fear was that I would have an accident that would leave me on a wheelchair for the rest of my life. From that point of view that fear and angst was removed from my life.
The bike has been for me a companion, the mean to save money and time and travel independently during my day, a sense of freedom that I can travel anytime.
As I like to reflect and learn from almost everything that I am experiencing, I continued to reflect on my feelings throughout the day between and after phone calls to the police and the insurance company. I always had a difficultly in owning material goods, I felt 'it was not for me', 'I am too spiritual to rely on materials', 'I should not have earthy attachments' 'do I deserve to have them' and so on. By having the bike taken so abruptly from me I was able to reflect on the 'empty' space that it has left in me and my life.
I saw clearly how I had always treated that bike; with fear, like it was never meant to stay with me, like it would be taken away from me sooner or later; the energy that I was relating to it (our field) was one of insecurity, uncertainty, almost willingness of letting go of it at any point. Then the reflection became bigger and reached the point where I realised once again how precariously I have been living my life; minimum security, fear of reliance on building anything by myself and others.
I have experienced similar incidents in the past where the pain was excruciating about losing something I loved and havng to learn a lesson through pain.
And yet these experiences and reflections always teach me about the essence of (my) existence. The bike needed (or even I wished for it) to be taken away from me for good reasons; to learn to appreciate every single thing I have and surround it with respect and love (including my own life!), to not to be afraid to own and enjoy something that I like and enjoy despite the fact that one day might disappear from me and to be reminded that on earth protection is still necessary.
We are all one and connected and I know that for me to be reminded and learn, there had to be (at least) one person (thief) who have not learned to respect other people's property, efforts to buy it etc and who more likely do not respect themselves either (e.g. living with the fear of being caught one day).
I forgive them and wish for them to learn their lessons sooner rather than later so we can all live in a more peaceful and blissful environments; so we can live more whole embracing all our aspects as opposed to having to act on them.
We can all struggle with challenging experiences and feelings and that is ok.
At these moments our vulnerability comes out, we feel a crack in our 'whole', 'balanced' sense of reality and of ourselves.
What we really need is to be looked after, loved, embrace the painful feelings and not to be judged for what we have not done and be. This will come later as part of the lesson.
Nobody wants to be unhappy and miserable; when people find themselves in these situations is because they do not know a way out from it and they are fighting it because they lose sight of what they can learn from it..