Dear reader,
This text is inspired by recent personal and public events and relates to the concepts of abuser and victim in the context of the evolution of today's societies towards a new identity. To some extent it is a continuation of my previous publication where I started writing on this subject and does not intend to convince anyone of anything but, if it can, to put thoughts and ideas into reflection. As some of you may know, there was another violent crime recently committed in Greece with a victim that of a girl who was killed because her perpetrators did not respected her desire. It is undoubtedly a cruel and inhumane crime deriving from pathology. Always in crimes like this, as in the recent murder of the drag queen Zak Kotopoulos, and having worked with people who have committed serious crimes, I was perplexed at the question of how one reaches the in-humane point where they allow themselves to exert violence and eventually remove another life (since his own life is not under threat). What exactly is it that allowed the two young men to abuse and kill another human being for not doing what they wanted? Also, why are such cruel crimes happening so often? Taking some distance from the crime, I realized that we're probably talking about another symptom of a social pathology. Have a think of how we treat nature the days, where as absolute conquerors we have imposed ourselves on every part of it, what animals we will grow and eat and what we will extinct, what fruits and vegetables will grow when and where, how to better our living conditions ignoring the effects on the environment, etc. What once- to a certain extent- was our home and the animals our cohabitants that we cared for and we loved because in some degree understood that it is part of the chain of life (on the planet), now we act arrogantly towards them, like a spoiled, ' greedy ' child who takes out his quirks and simply satisfies his desires at everyone's expense. Do you discern any resemblance to the aforementioned crimes? Is it not a natural consequence when one learns to be oppressor in an area of his life to extend his enforcement to others including the ' weak ' members of his own 'family'? The woman, the gay, the immigrant, the drug addict, the weak character, the man and so many other categories of people in a hostile social environment become the weak pig, ox, salmon, quinoa, pineapple etc and in the hands of the "strong" they become the ' easy ' victim whose fate he determines. It's like we've moved the jungle within into our societies and our way of living. We have achieved with pain and blood to see ourselves as the strongest being of the planet and we are heading to its destruction and our own. Since the industrial revolution and the way of life we created through it, we have been having a huge relentless party for some decades now and we gave started to paying the bill. Is it perhaps time to think and decide how we can best use any 'money' we have left? (I use here the term 'money' as a symbol of what we decide to value and invest in) What allows people to commit and violate other people's 'wants' (and also boundaries) in whatever form this may be, I located it in two things, the lack of understanding and the lack of love. I saw them both in people accusing the girl for what she did and in the hatred against the killers. Thus, in the identification (albeit partial) with the victim or the perpetrator. In my eyes as long as not everyone recognises his potentiality both as perpetrator and as victim, as strong and weak (with whatever this implies, recognising errors, asking for help, etc.) and to love responsibly all these aspects of oneself, then the other role will always be played by the Other. In a theatre like this there will be no director to lead the ' team ' to a play of love and evolution but to a play of war and destruction. So, is it perhaps time for everyone to look deep inside themselves and answer truthfully and responsibly on what play they want to be in and whether they belong to the group of mankind or to many groups of mankind ? We can't assume ignorance anymore.. There are possible ways. With Love, Panos
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Panos GoumalatsosCounsellor/Psychotherapist, Archives
March 2023
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