The idea also for this article has been long in my mind and concerns the concepts of control and surrender.
One great truth of life is that there are things we can control and things that we cannot control in our lives.
We can control our movement, what we eat, where we go, where we stay, what reactions we have in situations that happen to us, what actions we take etc.
When we exercise our control we effectively use in the best possible way that we can at a given time the resources we have available (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energy) to express our will, our feelings, to set our boundaries of our ourselves, to show externally who we are, what we want and what happens to us at a given time in a particular situation.
When we feel that we are hungry to satisfy our need and to bring back balance (homeostasis) to our organism we mobilise ourselves to find something to eat. So there is an internal or external call and we use our available means and power to respond as best we can to maintain a sense of tranquillity, satisfaction, wholeness.
Overall, every time we complete this process we feel safe, confident, strong and calm that we can offer these feelings to ourselves unhindered so we can continue building our lives with stability.
In cases where we feel that the means or forces we have are not sufficient to respond to a particular call, then we feel that we are losing control. In other words, we may get stressed, panic, enter the "fight'', "flight" or "freeze" modes and eventually feel depressed and succumb to inaction in the absence of a systemic balance.
For example, if in a job our boss is always critical of us and does not let us take initiatives or allow us to find ways to better manage our work volume then we may feel trapped, incapable, unproductive and, eventually, lose interest in our job.
On the other hand, there are things in our lives that are not within our control, such as an illness, a loss, a breakup, an accident, etc. Similarly, there are situations like a new job, a new date, a new city, a new venture where unknown factors dominate and therefore our ability to control diminishes as the number of possible outcomes is very large.
I think we all agree that these situations are quite difficult to assimilate as they require the interpretation and acceptance of those experiences, what do they mean for us, why did they happen to us, how do we feel about them and how can we finally better manage them in order to return to an internal balance.
We may try to use the means of control we already know, to take distance and to observe what is happening and to take action as soon as we feel ready, we be afraid and leave or avoid the situation, we can get absorbed into our thoughts and emotions and lose touch with what is really happening or we can deny this new unfamiliar experience and retire or cling to familiar behaviours. The possibilities or combinations of answers are just about as many people on the planet as possible.
My thought of these situations are that they are calls to 'let go'. They are the best reminders of who one really is, what is important to him and his life and ultimately what does he want to live and create. These experiences, only if we see them as such, offer the possibility of our contact with something greater within us, with the ultimate existence, with the universe, with the divine-choose whichever word suits you the most-.
Through the experience and processing of pain (mourning) about loss and mortality, fear of the unknown, anguish in the uncertain, loneliness of individual experience, the acceptance of weakness, the grief of non-perfection, we may realise and appreciate the possibilities of joy in life, trust in ourselves and others, the collective experience, the appreciation and beneficial use of our real powers, the recognition of the beauty of human nature.
These painful, uncomfortable and out-of-control and unplanned experiences are the space of 'destruction' in life, of the cracking of a form in order for something to be transformed and to be born into something new, something we did not know before or imagined for us, for others, for the world.
Paradoxically perhaps, surrender in what is happening to us and that we do not have full control of may be our opportunity to assimilate greater depths and heights of what do we mean by "I", ''am'', ''connecting'', ''love'', ''wisdom'' in the eternal dance of life.