Today's article stems from my observation and personal experiences, of course, in recent times and it concerns the concept of synchronisation.
We have all experienced times when something is changing, some of the relationships we feel are not being useful, things that connects us to our dear ones are not there anymore, somehow as if we did not feel as fulfilled with some relationships as before.
The truth is that everything around us as well as ourselves are in a constant change whether we realise it or not. Our body, the weather, a distance travelled, a job, a relationship nothing is the same every day and every moment. Whatever castles and constructions we build to maintain a sense of security and stability quickly or slowly we realise that the sense is relative and temporary, especially in regard to ourselves, as our experiences to a lesser or greater extent affect and shape us.
A change may occur intentionally or unintentionally, i.e. we have deliberately chosen it or might come from someone else or from the outside environment, such as a dismissal. In both cases, there is a question of processing the change, the emotions that are created and the options we have to respond to it.
Every change entails a small death, a loss, something ends and something begins in a very close time in the perpetual cycle of life.
Anything that exists around and within us emits a certain frequency, a wave, a vibration.
There has long been a great deal of interest in scientific research such as the work of D. Hawkins to measure the vibration of objects and human beings.
Specifically, he studied the vibrations of emotions in people by creating a spectrum of levels of consciousness (there are many such models that describe the spectrum of the consciousness like the one of K. Wilber) from shame and guilt as the lowest frequencies to love, joy, calmness and enlightenment with the highest frequencies (https://veritaspub.com/product/map-of-consciousness-dr-david-hawkins/).
Think only of how we are when we feel fear and how when we feel acceptance. In the former the space around us closes down, we confine ourselves, we turn within, our breath becomes shorter and shallow while in the latter we have more space to move, spread, breathe deeper and for more time. So our sense of self and at the same time what we can do changes. I do not comment here on the feelings as inferior as superior but different as to their frequency as waves.
Let us now imagine the same phenomenon happening between people, that is, a person experiencing long periods of fear, guilt and apathy and may not recognise and accept them and they come into contact with someone who is more often in courage, neutrality and joy. It is plausible that these two people at first sight either they were classmates at school, or colleagues for years, or lovers they are not compatible as they will experience different emotional states, so the space and the possibilities around them will not be the same.
There is of course also the possibility to listen to each other and to be interested in different emotional states,where they come from and thus maintain their connection while changing for the benefit of both sides. He who feels anger can allow himself to express it and, thus, resolve it and the other who seeks only the joy to let himself feel also other feelings, not so 'pleasant' which are part of his human nature.
Emotions are energy in motion so I think that all people experience all the emotions and either they express them (whatever the cost of vulnerability is etc) and they transform them, or they hold them inside and store them (often these stored feelings create the environment internally for disease development).
In either our relationship to ourselves, or in our relationships with others, we are not completely honest about what we feel, what happens to us, how we think about the relationship, what we need, etc. then we hide from us, the other and the relationship part of our feelings so a part of ourselves.
If it is done continuously then we actually end up showing (perhaps even experiencing) someone else and not our real self or the other. That is why many relationships end abruptly or badly because the gap in information between the two parties is huge and they have not shown both who they are, what they feel and what they want.
Of course this needs trust and love for the other and the relationship and it is a threatening process when someone has not learned to do it.
For me there is no right and wrong in relationships, because that calls for a 'judge', a perpetrator and a victim and I do not know for sure their criteria, but there is a desire or not to learn with that person or someone else.