Dear reader,
Today I am writing about a very fundamental and sensitive topic, traces of which exist in my previous articles and will certainly exist in later ones too. Not only because am I particularly fond of this subject but because I think we are now being called upon as humanity to incorporate it into our consciousness. Through the centuries we evolved, from living in caves, to civilisations, to automation and control of nature. This is the development and unfoldment of spirit in matter. Matter gives us the opportunity (and the challenge) to see as tangible big spiritual and existential questions and issues. It is true that we managed to survive and evolve as a species because we worked together. First into families, groups, communities, villages, cities, countries, etc. Somehow on this path we realized that we achieve more when we work together for a goal, against a particular opponent, against common threats, etc. We have now reached a point of progress where, to a large extent, we have succeeded in securing our survival in addition to unexpected tsunamis, hurricanes, earthquakes and other extreme weather and natural phenomena as well as many deadly diseases besides cancer etc. So an external enemy that threatens us with life or death does not exist to the extent that it once existed. This to the extent that we are talking about humans as a biological species. To the extent that man perceives himself as a kind with feelings, thoughts, ideas, desires etc, then we are talking about creating identities where each person identifies himself - consciously or unconsciously-with all the elements of various categories. For example, everyone has an identity consisting of his nationality, his religion (atheism is also a characteristic), his place of origin, his experiences and feelings in relation to this place and others. All these external elements interact with the inner qualities and desires of every human being. For example, a child who has artistic tendencies and grows up in a village or a family that does not nurture them or his particular desire, then the child learns that this part of him is not welcomed in the world, that there is no space for it and it would be good to bury it in favour of the dominant values and practices of the family and community. The specific talents, desires and interests of a child (every human being has his own) is part of their uniqueness, who he really is, what gifts he brings as a soul into the world and perhaps what he has come to do in this world (in the sense of creating his life freely). This uniqueness may have more or less common characteristics with the environment, so it may be more or less different from that. If the environment does not understand, condemns or rejects this diversity- which is vital for the fulfilment of each individual- then we observe the birth of hatred. The child learns firsthand that there are reasons for himself and other people to be rejected. If he does not reinstate within and without the place of his desire in his life, then he will seek in the future to find (or construct) this resounding quality in differences, an 'otherness' outside of him who must at all costs be rejected because it is the enemy and the threat of his own identity and existence to some degree. I am not talking here about the moral education of children to avoid unwanted acts, for example violence, but about the way we give meaning and respond to them, which may mean something diffferent than what we think. For example, when a child expresses herself violently, it may mean that she is afraid and not that she is evil and must be punished for it (of course it depends on the circumstances). By recognising and accepting how we are similar and different from others-and the environments in which we grow-we create our own place in the world, recognise and use our power and relate as equal to all other people who have or have not done the same for themselves. The recognition of self (whatever we consider as 'ego') as equal to another (anything we perceive as such) is an extremely current lesson in the world and the root cause of many social and other problems (e.g. today we reward more the educated than those who care for our food). If we consider ourselves better for any reason, then there is someone else who is less good, therefore weaker, hence less of value. He is the one that we can dominate and we make sure he never gets better than us. A person who knows what she is good at and where she can improve on, what she really likes and where she finds peace, satisfaction and fulfilment and intentionally pursuits them, she does not feel better or worse than anyone else altogether because everyone has their own uniqueness and the self value that comes with it To a certain extent we currently operate with an old brain (identity) that has not yet updated its software and is looking for potential enemies. To the extent that we operate from the position of an angry and wounded child that the world did not see and did not let it show and become who he is, then the world remains a hostile place and the different other is a threat that must be dealt with accordingly, missing out on all the gifts that he has to bring to the world. To the extent that we recognise the differences and similarities (uniqueness) of all the others- especially those that we consider weak and less or stronger and better- as equal to ours then we will be able to see the world for what it is, we will be able to connect deeply with it and build a world not based on war but based on understanding, wisdom and love. I will not lie, integrating life lessons is most often a painful and hard working process with impressive results. Otherness will always be the reminder and the opportunity in the search of our wholeness With Love, Panagiotis
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Panos GoumalatsosCounsellor/Psychotherapist, Archives
March 2023
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